


welcome to java jones

by wvlfqveen



Series: clizzy coffee shop au [1]
Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Coffee Shops, F/F, M/M, no one is straight trust me im a scientist, the author doesnt know how to title, there is some making out involved im sorry if that's not ur thing, who knows - Freeform, why is there always gay clubbing in my fics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-19
Updated: 2016-06-19
Packaged: 2018-07-15 23:32:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7243285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wvlfqveen/pseuds/wvlfqveen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A normal day for Clary includes working at Java Jones and yelling at Eric for making out with his girlfriend in public.</p><p>Normal goes out the window when the most stunning person she's ever seen suddenly walks through the door.</p>
            </blockquote>





	welcome to java jones

**Author's Note:**

> what the fuCK is up my dudes. a few things
> 
> 1) i havent posted anything in so long im so sorry im truly ashamed of myself  
> 2) the clizzy tag is seriously lacking and i've never written any TMI fic before but this needed to be fixed  
> 3) this got out of hand and is now a 10k monstrosity 
> 
> enjoy my babies xoxo

It was an extremely slow afternoon in Java Jones, only the most regular of the regulars in the shop. Simon’s bandmates were all, unfortunately, there, as was Simon himself, Maia, her best friend, Magnus Bane, her friend/neighbour that liked hanging out in Java Jones and drawing (he usually drew outfits as he was a fashion designer but he liked drawing other things, too, apparently) and an old lady immersed in a Jane Austen novel in the far corner that had barely even glanced at Eric all afternoon, even though he had been  tongue-deep in his girlfriend’s mouth for a good part of it. God.

“Eric, dammit,” Clary growled from the counter “don’t make me throw a rag at you again. I don’t have that many left.”

Eric detached himself from his girlfriend -Clary didn’t even remember the name of this one- and grunted in her direction. “It’s not like there’s anyone around, dude.” The old lady at the corner turned a page in her book calmly.

“Have you ever considered that I don’t actually like watching you make out with people, _dude_? That’s Simon’s job.”

“Hey!,” Simon protested over Magnus’ and Maia’s snickers. He was sitting on the stage, swinging his legs back and forth.

“But did she lie?,” Magnus sang under his breath, but loud enough for Simon and Maia to hear him on the other side of the room. Maia gave a full-blown laugh. Simon scowled at her and then Magnus.

“You-”

“Guys, guys, no need to argue,” Eric said, opening his arms wide to placate the group. “You can all watch.”

Groans of disgust erupted around the room. Clary put her head down on the counter and sighed.

“Uhm, did we come at a bad time?”

Clary’s head snapped back up. A couple of customers in running gear had just entered the shop, looking slightly confused.

“Oh no no, don’t mind them, I’m so sorry, hi,” Clarry stammered as the two came closer and she realized just how attractive both of them were. “Welcome to Java Jones, what can I get for you today?”

“Hi,” the person in the front said, grinning. They were beautiful, even in sweaty running gear, with long black hair pulled into a ponytail, large dark eyes and a sunny smile. Their skin was perfectly smooth and slightly tanned and they were lean, muscled like a runner. The one behind them and off to the side was very tall and also muscular, with the same black hair and perfect -although lighter- skin, and bright blue eyes.

The person behind the long-haired one picked up their phone as it rang suddenly, interrupting whatever the other was going to say to Clary. “Hello?” They turned to the shorter one and whispered “It’s Jace.”

“Hi, Jace,” the long-haired person sang. Clary had to check for potential drool on her face.

“Izzy says hi,” the one on the phone said. “Yeah, she’s about to order right now. No, we literally just came in. Yes, Jace.” They rolled their eyes and Izzy giggled. “Bye, Jace.” They hung up, sighing.

“Izzy?” Clary asked curiously.

“Isabelle,” she clarified. “And that’s my brother Alec.”

“Yeah hi, can I get a small caramel macchiato and one small lemonade with lime instead of water and one medium?” Alec asked, all business. Clary nodded and stared at Maia until she got the point and came behind the counter to help her.

Izzy pouted. Clary turned away hastily and started on the drinks. “I thought I was ordering,” Izzy grumbled.

“Well you were too busy ogling, so…,” Alec said. Clary didn’t turn back but she heard a slapping sound and a muffled “ow”.

Ogling?

“So, is it just the two of you here?” Izzy asked, sounding close to Clary. Clary glanced over her shoulder for a moment; Izzy was leaning on the counter, face in her hands. Clary turned back to the macchiato she was making resolutely.

“Oh yeah. One of my neighbours owns this place. It kinda became a family establishment,” she said, turning to face Izzy for the final touches on the drink.

Izzy was looking around curiously, from Simon and his “band” (who were all drooling at her, Clary noted in disgust, even though she had been doing the same) to the old lady in the corner and Magnus on the other corner. Her eyes caught on Magnus for a moment but Clary couldn’t blame her. He had chosen a bright purple, glittery blazer over a black button up today, and had on his usual numerous rings, and glitter around his eyes. Nothing out of the ordinary for Magnus, really, but it was a lot to take in when you had no experience.

He got up and walked over, smiling at Izzy momentarily. “Hey, Maia, can you refill this for me, sugarplum?” he said, coming up to the counter yielding his glass of water. Maia grabbed the glass with a fond eyeroll. Magnus leaned against the counter and gave Alec, Clary noticed, a not-at-all-subtle once-over.

“Hello,” Magnus said, smirking slightly. Alec blinked at him, and for the first time since he’d come in through the door, his features didn’t look as severe.

“Uh, hi,” he stammered. Clary finished the drink and put it on the counter, leaning on it to watch the spectacle along with Izzy.

“Please tell me your brother isn’t homophobic and won’t run soon,” Clary whispered. Izzy giggled quietly.

“He won’t run. And he’s not homophobic,” Izzy promised. Her lips twitched funnily at the word “homophobic” like she was thinking of a private joke. “Why, do many people run from Magnus?”

“Not really actually. It’s the glitter, I think. It’s scarily captivating.”

Izzy grinned. “Don’t worry, my brother is brave,” she whispered.

“You think they’ll exchange numbers?,” Maia asked, leaning into their private bubble. Clary nodded, watching Alec blush and grin under Magnus’ spell.

“The real question is, who do you think will text first?” she asked. Izzy turned to her and raised a perfect eyebrow.

“Is that a challenge I sense, Miss Clary?”

She shrugged, grinning a bit. “Maybe?”

“If my brother texts first we’re going clubbing on Friday,” Izzy offered. Clary grimaced slightly.

“I’m not really a clubbing person,” she said, although her palms started to sweat at the mental image of Izzy in a tight dress.

“So don’t lose,” Izzy said, grinning.

“What if I win?”

“What do you want?,” Izzy said, looking at her through her eyelashes. Clary blinked, slightly dazed, then grinned.

“You have to suffer through one of Simon’s buddy’s poetry reading nights here,” she said. Izzy glanced at them from the corner of her eye.

“Should I be scared?,” Izzy asked, seemingly unimpressed.

“Terrified,” Clary replied honestly.

“Izzy,” Alec said, interrupting their exchange. Izzy jumped a bit. Clary was glad she wasn’t the only one affected by...whatever this was.

Clary glanced up at his face. He looked...well, not over the clouds (Clary doubted he was a generally smiley person) but there was a light in his eyes that hadn’t been there before. She glanced at Magnus who had returned to his seat. His expression gave nothing away but you could never tell with him anyway.

‘We gotta go, Jace will be waiting,” Alec explained, lemonades in the cardboard holder in his hand. Izzy grabbed the macchiato and placed it beside the lemonades firmly.

“That’s true. Are you all done here?,” she asked, grinning. Alec blushed, then scowled, but there was a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Are you?,” he asked, glancing at Clary for a moment. Clary blushed and busied herself with wiping the counter.

“For now,” Izzy replied, smiling slightly. They walked to the exit as graceful as gods. Clary watched them leave, a twinge of hope slowly growing in her chest. Izzy turned back at the door.

“I’ll be back on the day of to discuss the outcome of our bet,” Izzy promised with a grin, then walked out. Clary heard Alec ask “what bet?” as the door chimed closed.

Clary immediately ran to Magnus and knelt in front of him. Magnus looked comically shocked as Clary gripped his hand. “Please tell me you got his number.”

“Who do you think I am?” Magnus scoffed. “Of course I did.”

“Okay,” Clary breathed in relief “please tell me you’ll text first.”

“Not a chance,” Magnus said, shaking his head. Clary whined but Magnus put a hand up to stop her.

“The boy has to learn. I have a feeling he doesn’t have much experience in like, any of this, so,” Magnus explained almost apologetically.

“Magnus,” Clary whined “we made a bet and if you don’t text first I’m going to have to go clubbing with her.”

Magnus blinked down at her with his distractingly light amber eyes. “Frankly, I don’t see an issue with this.”

“First of all, I have 0 clubbing clothes,” Clary offered.

“Maia and I can take you shopping,” Magnus countered. “Next.”

“Have you seen me walk in heels?”

Magnus pursed his lips. “Fair enough, but you can practice. It’s only Monday, you have four days.”

Clary groaned then put her head on the empty space on the armchair. Magnus patted her head.

“Don’t worry, biscuit. I, the God of Parties, will help you.”

“Oh no,” Clary whimpered to the armchair. She heard Magnus huff above her.

“Heard that, demon biscuit.”

“Demon biscuit,” she heard Simon echo, then several high fives and an elated “dude” from Eric.

Clary sighed. Magnus patted her head again in consolation.

* * *

She was given two entire days of peace and apartment-sulking before she was dragged out of it (almost literally) kicking and screaming on Thursday morning. Not that she could have ever escaped; Maia was her roommate and Simon was no help. He had come to see her off as Maia and Magnus forced her out of her bed and into some semblance of a functioning human being, as Magnus had put it.

“Come on, it won’t be that bad,” Simon tried to console her. She was putting her combat boots on and had half a bagel in her mouth, but she still managed to flip him off without tripping. He snorted at her like the rude friend he was.

“For the first time in his unfunny life, Simon is right, flower,” Magnus said. He ignored Simon’s offended noise in favor of helping her put on her jean jacket. He flipped her hair out from under the collar then stood in front of her to set it straight. “It won’t be that bad, I promise. And even if you think it is, it will all be worth it in the end when Isabelle sees you.”

“But I’m all,” she gestured down at herself pointedly, “and she is…” she trailed off and sighed, remembering the muscled curves and the stunning smile.

“I see a stunning young lady with wit, an okay amount of charm, and some other great qualities, I’m guessing,” Magnus said, grinning when Clary stuck her tongue out at him, “and that’s exactly what Isabelle saw. Okay, a little more than that I hope.”

“Point is,” Maia piped up, adjusting her purse strap across her torso, “you don’t see yourself clearly.”

“What they said,” Simon offered. Clary sighed.

Magnus clapped his hands with finality. “Okay, enough of this pity party! Let’s go, we have work to do. Shoo,” he told Simon, making him get up and physically shooing him out the door. Simon huffed but followed them all into the elevator easily enough.

“Where are we going?,” Clary asked in trepidation. Magnus’ tastes were nowhere close to Clary’s and neither was his clothing budget.

“Don’t worry about it,” Magnus sang.

“Now I’m definitely worrying about it,” Clary admitted. Magnus rolled his eyes and cradled her face in his hands.

“Clarissa Fairchild, don’t you trust me?”

“Not really?”

Magnus huffed and stepped out of the elevator as the door dinged open, leading the way to the exit.

“Well you should start now because I’m the only one that can help you in this part of… wooing the ladies.”

“Wooing the ladies,” Simon mouthed at Clary. She snorted along with Maia. Magnus turned to glare at them and raised his hand to flag down a cab.

“Go home, cave-dweller,” Magnus said.

Simon scowled, but could not come up with an adequate comeback. He opted for a hug instead. “Bye, have fun,” he let go to hug Maia, “and come back in one piece please!” He grinned at Magnus’ sideways glare, then let go of Maia and started slowly walking backwards. Clary shook her head, amused, and waved at him until he had turned the corner.

“Finally,” Magnus muttered as a cab came to a stop in front of them, although Clary suspected the “finally” wasn’t directed at the cab at all. Magnus opened the door and let them go in first, and wedged himself beside them before slamming it shut.

“Alright! Let’s get this party started!,” Magnus cheered. Clary put her head against the window. Maia laughed but patted her thigh sympathetically anyway.

* * *

 

“Magnus,” Clary deadpanned, pulling back the curtain and stomping to where Magnus was in a deep discussion with Maia about sequins. Magnus turned, and to his credit, his nose wrinkled only a tiny bit.

“Yeah, you don’t have enough,” he gestured to his chest “for that one.”

Clary scowled. They had been in this particular department store, apparently a regular Magnus choice, for what seemed like _hours_ and Clary had found nothing that fit her right, or that she liked.

“We’ve established some basic criteria, though,” Magnus said, trying to placate her. He pulled her towards another set of racks (God, did this store never end?) and started looking through it. “It has to be black, very tight, and have to make your legs look long because you don’t have any.”

Clary glared at him. Magnus noticed and patted her cheek. “I’m kidding, sugarplum. Of course you have legs. I just can’t resist poking fun.”

She sighed, and pushed her hair back in exasperation. “Magnus, is that you?,” a voice behind her said. Clary turned.

It was a tall, pretty person around Magnus’ age, with brown hair, gray eyes, and a kind smile. Magnus looked up and grinned hugely at them, hurrying around the clothes to hug them.

“Tessa Gray! My love,” he cheered, kissing them on both cheeks. “Tessa, meet Clary and Maia. Clary and Maia, meet Tessa. She’s been my best friend since high school.”

“Clary? You wouldn’t be Clary Fairchild, would you?”

“Uhm, yes, that’s me,” Clary said, smiling politely. “How did you-”

Tessa laughed in disbelief. “Your mother and I were neighbours in college, in and out of residence. I remember when she was pregnant with you actually. I suggested the name “Clarissa” .”

Clary laughed. “I should thank you, then.”

Tessa grinned and inclined her head. “Don’t mention it. So, what are you all doing here?”

“Well, Miss Fairchild here has a hot date on Friday and she needs a nightclub outfit ASAP,” Magnus explained, grabbing Clary by the shoulders. “What do you think, Tessa?”

“Hm...you’re quite small, like your mother. She went through very similar outfit troubles,” Tessa said, looking at her thoughtfully. “How about...a tight crop top to...you know,” she did a pushing up motion in front of her chest “and high-waisted shorts to add height? It’s hot enough.”

Magnus slapped his forehead. “I can’t believe I didn’t think of that,” he said, disappearing into the department store in a flash.

Clary and Maia blinked after him. “Has he always been like this?,” Maia asked Tessa. Tessa laughed and nodded.

“Yes, actually, he was. I love him for it,” she said. “I was never particularly outgoing. He helped. He even introduced me to my fiancé, Will..” She extended her hand to show them her ring, a beautiful, elegant silver band with a delicate diamond, and several, tiny emerald stones around it.

“It’s beautiful,” Clary breathed. Tessa smiled. She really was pretty.

“Thank you. My fiancé thinks so, too. He told me he has an eye for beautiful things.” She rolled her eyes but her cheeks had gone red. Clary nearly cooed before she caught herself.

“Ah yes, that Will. Always so charming,” Magnus said, hurrying back to them with a pile of clothes in his arms. He dumped them all in Clary’s unsuspecting arms and pointed her to the dressing room. “How is he, anyway?”

“He’s alright. It’s Jem Day, today,” Tessa said, rolling her eyes fondly. Magnus snorted and started physically pushing Clary towards the dressing room.

“Jem Day?,” Maia asked.

“Jem is Will and Tessa’s boyfriend,” Magnus explained. Tessa slapped him on the arm but she was blushing, curiously enough.

“He’s a very good friend of ours,” Tessa corrected. Magnus wiggled his eyebrows at Clary and Maia. Clary snorted and got in the dressing room, pulling the curtain shut.

Their chatter faded as they walked away from the dressing room and left Clary with a pile of black clothes, some items so tiny Clary wondered how the store even sold them in the first place.

She pulled a pair of black ripped jean shorts and a strapless, glittery, black, cropped corset top. She eyed both items dubiously but took off her own clothes anyway. Magnus had managed to find her exact size so she got everything on fairly easily and turned to the mirror after a moment.

Well, she had definitely not be expecting that.

She actually looked...pretty good; the top did add a lot to her general lack of cleavage (it normally didn’t bother her but...desperate times), and the tiny shorts made her legs look longer than they were. Paired with the right heels, she might even pass for a person taller than 5’0.

She pulled the curtain back and walked out of the dressing room to the little waiting area. Magnus, Tessa, and Maia paused their conversation to look at her. Maia whistled. Tessa smiled at her.

Magnus got up and walked around her to inspect the outfit critically. His expression gave nothing away.

She spread her arms nervously. “Well?”

He grinned suddenly and threw an arm around her shoulders. He turned to face the other girls proudly.

“We did it, ladies!,” he cheered. Maia and Tessa cheered along, coming in for a group hug. Clary laughed and put her face in her hands, embarrassed.

Maybe this clubbing thing wouldn’t be so bad after all.

* * *

“This is going to be soooo bad,” Clary moaned the next day when she was practicing walking in heels around the apartment.

It was just after 4 pm, so she wasn’t worried about the clicking of the heels producing any noise complaints, but she _was_ worried that she was going to break her ankles, embarrass herself in front of Isabelle, or die.

Magnus rolled his eyes at her. He was sitting on top of her couch so the sun could hit him, reminding her of his cat, Chairman Meow.

“Don’t be so dramatic,” Maia said, as Magnus dropped down on the couch beside her and crossed his legs. Clary resented him for always looking like he was posing for the cameras.

“I’m not. I’m being realistic. I’m going to be like a fish out of the water and it’s going to be embarrassing for everyone.”

“Isabelle won’t care, especially if she wants to get in your pants,” Magnus said. Clary blushed, but scowled at him, doing another round around the coffee table.

“But will she still want that after she sees me like this?,” she said, waving down at her shoes. They were nice shoes, open-toed, strappy, black, and shiny, and made her legs look very long, but they were going to get her killed and decidedly not laid.

“Yes,” Magnus groaned. “Clarissa Fairchild, you worry too much. Where is Sermon? We need to laugh at something.”

Maia hit him with the couch pillow. “You know his name, you glittery asshole.”

Magnus rolled his eyes. He was indeed very glittery today. His eyeliner was sparkly gold, like his nails, and he was wearing a silk purple shirt and fitted black jeans.Clary was pretty sure there was body glitter on him, too.

“I don’t _care_ ,” Magnus said, ducking away to avoid another pillow hit. Clary sighed.

“Why don’t you just text Alec?,” she whined childishly, dropping herself down on the armchair facing the couch to take the shoes off.

“And waste a perfectly good outfit?,” Magnus asked, although he looked slightly anxious at the mention of Alec. “I think not.”

Clary let her head fall back and groaned to the ceiling.

“Relax, biscuit,” Magnus said. “You’re going to be fine, you’ll see.”

The sound of a text pulled Clary out of her misery, making her raise her head. Magnus arched his hips to pull it out of his back pocket and looked down at the screen. His mouth opened slightly.

“It’s-it’s Alec,” Magnus said. He looked more nervous than Clary had ever seen him.

“Well, what is he saying?,” Maia asked, leaning close to him to look at the screen.

“Hi. Tell Clary I’m sorry for making her lose”, Magnus read “but I couldn’t hold out any longer.”

Maia grinned. “Oooo, Magnus is blushing.”

Magnus snorted. “I’m not,” he said, but his cheeks did look slightly darker than before. Clary grinned, despite her rising anxiety at the now sure prospect of clubbing.

“Well, text him back, get a date,” Clary encouraged, getting up to go sulk face-down on her bed. “Then at least something good will come out of my night in hell.”

“Don’t be so dramatic,” Magnus called as she disappeared down the hallway. “That’s my job.”

* * *

 

The next day, Clary was woken by Magnus jumping on her bed. “Good morning, biscuit.”

She groaned, opening one eye to glare at him. Surprisingly, he had no makeup on. He was wearing a bright pink crop top with dark blue jeans.

She closed her eye and sighed. “You’re too much to be the first person I interact with in the morning,” she croaked. He snorted and pushed her until she moved far enough in the bed for him to lie down beside her.

“I have news you want to hear,” he promised. She didn’t open her eyes, but she grunted for him to continue.

“God, you’re a delight in the morning. Anyway, your girlfriend Isabelle texted me,” he started. She didn’t give him the satisfaction of reacting to that, merely grunting again. He continued. “And she suggested that we turn this into a group thing so our first timers,” here he patted Clary’s butt. She opened an eye to glare at him in indignation. “Don’t become too uncomfortable.”

“Oh, good,” she said, finally turning on her back and opening her eyes to stare at her ceiling. “So I won’t be the only one suffering.”

“Relaaaax,” Magnus said, leaning on his elbow to make eye contact with her. “This is perfect actually. If you become uncomfortable with anything you can run to me or Maia or, God forbid, Simon, and if Alec becomes uncomfortable he can turn to his sister or this Jace she mentioned. And best case scenario? Nobody is uncomfortable, everyone gets drunk as hell, and at least one of us finally gets some. What do we have to lose?”

“Wow, pep talk master. Where did you learn how to do that? Pep talk school?”

Magnus blinked down at her with distaste. “You’re even less funny than Simon in the morning. I didn’t think that was possible.”

“I haven’t had my bagel, yet,” she said defensively. Magnus rolled his eyes and sat up.

“Alright time to get up. We have a long day ahead of us.”

She groaned and rolled back on her stomach, putting a pillow over her head for good measure.

* * *

About an hour later, Clary was already behind the counter in Java Jones. Simon, Maia, and Magnus were there, too, both bent over Magnus’ phone looking at pictures of Magnus’ prospective outfits for that night. Simon was sitting in the armchair across from them, leafing through a Batman comic book.

And Clary? Well, Clary was busy looking up quickly every time the door opened in hopes that she would see Izzy walking in.

She sighed. Pathetic.

She glanced up quickly as the door chimed open again, but it was only one her least regular-regulars, Raphael. He didn’t drop by often (apparently the bright “hipsterishness” of the place made him itch) but she didn’t mind it when he did. He was a no non-sense kind of guy and he was, weirdly enough, on friendly terms with Magns.  

“Hi, Raphael. Long time no see,” Clary greeted. “The usual?”

He nodded. He was, unsurprisingly, wearing all black, his silver cross hanging from his neck. She turned her back to start on his latte.

“Sorry, I gotta-um yeah,” Simon stammered behind her, squeezing past Raphael to get behind the counter.

“You know, technically, you are not supposed to do that,” she told him.

Simon shrugged. “Dottie loves me, she doesn’t care.”

“Does she actually know?”

He snorted, walking out from behind that counter with water in hand. “No,” he threw over his shoulder, and plopped down on the armchair with a glance at Raphael.

She handed him his drink. He was looking at Simon from the corner of his eye and frowning.

“Here you go,” she said. He turned to her and handed her the money.

“Who’s that?,” he asked quietly. Clary glanced up, blinking. She looked at Simon out of instinct.

“That? Simon, my best friend. You’ve never met him before?”

Raphael shook his head, taking a sip of his drink carefully. Clary raised her eyebrows slightly. He made eye contact with her and scowled.

“What?”

“Nothing,” she said, smiling a little.

“So,” he said loudly, “heard you going clubbing tonight.”

Clary scowled at Magnus. “You told him?”

Magnus rolled his eyes. “No. It was probably Ragnor. I do love him but that bastard cannot keep his mouth shut.”

Clary sighed. “Yes, I’m going clubbing. Is that a problem?”

“You hate clubbing,” Raphael deadpanned.

Clary huffed. “So?”

Raphael rolled his eyes and murmured something in Spanish that was way too quick for Clary to follow. She had a feeling it wasn’t flattering. “Your funeral, sweetheart. See you later. Oh, and Magnus?”, he called, grinning a bit, “don’t scare this Alec away on your first night out.” He walked out, ignoring Magnus’ affronted glare.

“Asshole,” he muttered as the door shut behind him.

“So, uh, who was that?,” Simon asked. He closed the comic book distractedly.

“Raphael Santiago,” Magnus answered. “He and I go way back.”

Simon frowned. “You go way back with everyone.”

Magnus blinked at him. “Your point? Why do you care about him anyway?”

“I-I don’t,” Simon stammered. “I just wondered how I’ve never met him before even though he knows you all, that’s it.”

Magnus’ eyes narrowed. He uncrossed his legs and leaned forward.

“Simon Lewis,” he said. “You like him.”

Simon spluttered. “What? No- no...That’s ridiculous! I don’t- I don’t even know the guy.”

Magnus rolled his eyes. “I didn’t say you are in love with him. You just think he’s hot. Don’t look at me like that, I saw how you stared at him when he came in. Wow. I didn’t even know you liked guys.”

Simon spluttered some more but gave up and sighed in the end. “I mean...I don’t know? I never really, uh...thought about it.”

Clary snorted. “Yeah, right.”

Everyone blinked at her. “What?,” Simon asked.

“Alex. Math class, Grade 9? Remember him?”

Simon made noise of protest in the back of his throat. “I just- I just thought he was cool.”

Clary raised her eyebrows in disbelief.

“It’s alright,” Magnus said. “You don’t have to figure it out now. Or ever. You just gotta...be you.” He pursed his lips. “Tell you what. Why don’t you come clubbing with us tonight? When was the last time you made out with someone?”

“Uh. Clary and I shared our first kiss?”

“Jesus Christ,” Magnus muttered. “It’s official. I’m doing charity work tonight. You’re coming with us.”

“Did I enter an alternate dimension by accident?” Maia wondered out loud. Clary snorted in agreement.

“I don’t even have like...a clubbing outfit,” Simon protested weakly. Magnus rolled his eyes.

“I’ll let you borrow something.” Simon looked at him weirdly.

Magnus snorted. “Don’t worry. I’ll go easy on you. All of you; come by my place at 9 so we can get ready. We got work to do.”

Just then, the door chimed open again. Clary looked up and her breath hitched.

Izzy smiled at her in greeting, walking up to the counter with such a graceful step, it looked like she was floating. Her hair was loose around her shoulders, and she was wearing a tight red t-shirt and even tighter jeans that made Clary’s heart beat slightly faster.

“Hi everyone,” she called out, waving at Magnus, Maia and Simon. Maia and Simon waved back silently.

Magnus walked up to her and kissed her on both cheeks. “Hello, beautiful. How are you today?”

Izzy rolled her eyes, but she was still smiling. “Oh please, like you care. You just want to hear about my brother.”

“He’s been antsy all week,” Clary confessed, smirking at Magnus’ affronted noise.

“I have not.”

“Yes, he has,” Maia and Simon said in unison.

Izzy grinned. “Don’t worry. He’s probably way worse. I’ve never seen him like this before.”

Magnus looked worryingly delighted at that. “Oh, before I forget. There is something,” he looked at Simon then pulled Izzy a few feet away, “we need to discuss.”

They whispered to each other as Simon looked ready to start eating his own comic book from stress. Clary and Maia exchanged an amused look.

They finished their conversation and Magnus kissed her on the cheek again. He sat down on his chair and Izzy walked back up to the counter.

“Hi there,” she said, grinning at Clary. She smiled.

“Hi.”

“So...ready for tonight?”, Izzy asked, putting a strand of hair behind her ear. Clary’s fingers twitched.

She laughed awkwardly. “No way. It’s going to be a disaster. A Clary classic.”

“Aw, come on,” Izzy said, reaching out to rub Clary’s arm comfortingly “it’ll be fine, I promise.”

With Izzy touching her like that, she could have said the Earth is flat and Clary would have agreed in a heartbeat.

“Okay,” she said, a little breathlessly. Izzy gave her a stunning smile.

“That’s my girl,” Izzy said, retracting her hand.

_That’s my girl._

“Uhm, do you want a drink or something?,” Clary asked, her voice coming out squeaky. She cleared her throat awkwardly. “On the house.”

“Oh can I get a small caramel frappucino? And I’m definitely paying.”

Clary turned around to start on the drink. “Nuh-uh, no you’re not.”

“Uhm, yuh-uh, yes I am.”

“No, I insist. It’s on the house,” she said, sliding the finished product across the counter. Izzy caught it and lifted it to her lips, taking a sip without looking away from her. Clary practically felt the blood rush to her face.

“Fine,” she said finally. “But I’m definitely buying you a drink tonight.”

Clary swallowed thickly. “Fine.”

Izzy smiled slowly. “Excellent.”

Clary smiled at her, then turned around to busy herself with cleaning the steamer to avoid putting her foot in the her mouth. She turned around when she heard a weird tinkling sound.

“I gotta run,” Izzy said, looking apologetic. “I’ll see you all tonight!,” she promised. She winked at Clary and waved goodbye to everyone before walking out the door as smoothly as she had when she had entered the store.

“Bye,” Clary sighed. She looked down at the counter, her gaze catching on the tips box. It looked slightly fuller than before. She looked up sharply and Maia met her eyes. She nodded, smirking. Clary shook her head, but something warm was growing in her stomach.

“That was disgusting, you know,” Magnus said after a quiet minute. “If you two don’t make out soon I’ll be personally offended.”

“Same,” Maia said.

“I agree,” Simon said. “It would be like, a disservice to humanity and like, lesbians everywhere if you don’t.”

“You don’t even know if she’s a lesbian, you inconsiderate dickbag,” Magnus said, rolling up his magazine and reaching out to smack Simon with it. Simon ducked away with his hands up.

“Lesbians as in Clary and girls like her!! I didn’t include Izzy in that, I swear!,” he insisted shrilly. He rubbed his arm where Magnus had smacked him. “Jesus Christ,” he muttered.

Maia shook her head at him in disappointment and said nothing.

Clary sighed again. She needed better friends.

* * *

 

“I take everything I said on Clary’s shopping day back,” Simon said later that night, while he watched Magnus set out his makeup with an air of trepidation, “this is awful and I would 100% try to hide in my apartment if I could, too.”

Magnus just rolled his eyes and continued setting out the makeup he was going to use on Simon. They were all ready, with only Simon’s makeup to go. Maia and Clary had already started on the pre-drinks and Clary felt a little lighter than she had a few hours ago.

And they all looked good, too. Magnus had worked his magic on her cheekbones, making them glitter, and had given her big mysterious eyes. Maia had worn a red bodycon dress and matching red lipstick, all done by herself, but she had let Magnus use highlighter on her,too.

And Magnus? He had gone all out. He was wearing a satin purple button down with sleeves that spread like bat wings under his arms and ended in tight cuffs at his wrists, and black, faux-leather pants that looked so tight, Clary wondered how he could breathe. But her favorite part was his makeup; he had forgone his usual eyeliner in favor for _rainbow_ highlighter on his already prominent cheekbones, dark purple lipstick, and plenty of mascara.

“Okay,” Magnus said, straightening from the kitchen table and clapping his hands. “Let’s begin.”

Simon whimpered. Magnus rolled his eyes again.

“Relax. I said I’ll go easy on you, remember? Do you think I lied?,” he asked, pointing down at Simon’s outfit. By Magnus’ standards, it was devastatingly simple; a simple black muscle shirt that showed off Simon’s surprisingly muscled arms, and tight black jeans. But Simon dressed exclusively in band t-shirts, so this was a huge change for him.

Simon raised a finger. “No lipstick or eyeshadow.”

Magnus snorted. “Weakling. Fine, no lipstick or eyeshadow. Now, shh.”

Maia handed Clary a shot silently. Clary downed it with no hesitation.

* * *

Less than an hour later, Clary stepped outside their cab and almost stepped right back in.

The line for _Pandemonium_ was huge.

“Oh my God,” Maia said behind her. Simon came and stood beside her, the same awed expression on his face.

Magnus stepped out of the cab last, shutting the door behind him. It sped off, taking Clary’s fastest escape route with it.

“How are we ever gonna get in? What if Isabelle is already inside? What if she thinks I ditched her? What if-”

Magnus grabbed her face, cutting off her sentence. “Breathe,” he commanded. “It’s gonna be fine. Follow me,” he said, and marched as determinedly as possible in those tight pants of his, across the street. They followed, Clary holding on to Maia slightly for support. She still didn’t trust herself 100% in her shoes.

Magnus walked right up to the bouncer, ignoring the complaints and the noises of indignation that came out of the line, and whispered in his ear. The bouncer nodded and pulled the entrance rope back without a word. Magnus looked back at them and beckoned them to follow. He winked.

They stepped into the club. It was huge, and crowded, with people very much like Magnus. There was glitter, leather, and sweat everywhere, the bright multi-coloured lights shining down on everything from above. A few looks were sent their way, many people stopping to undoubtedly appreciate Magnus’ highlight which shined like a beacon in the semi-darkness of the club.

She was pretty sure she could feel the bass thump in her toes. How was she ever going to find Izzy in this absolute chaos?

Someone grabbed her arm and she turned sharply to tell them off, but it was just Izzy, smiling down at her brightly. Clary’s breath went out of her with a whoosh.

She looked absolutely amazing. Her long hair was straightened and gelled back, pulling the perfect structure of her face into focus. Her eyes were smoky, and gleamed under the lights of the club. Her dress was unbelievably tight, a tiny black thing that made her legs look miles long, and there was a pendant with a precious red stone resting just below her throat.

“Hi,” Izzy yelled. She pointed behind her, to Alec and a guy who must have been Jace. Clary looked back to Magnus, and was not disappointed. He had the look of a man that had just seen God on his face, an expression Alec was currently mirroring in a more subtle way.

“Hi,” Clary yelled back. She glanced at the guy beside Alec. He was shorter than him, stockier and blond. The set of his eyes reminded her of a lion.

“That’s Jace,” Izzy yelled. Clary gave him a wave. He returned it with a small grin, then said something to Alec and disappeared into the crowd.

Alec leaned closer to them. “He’s getting a drink,” he informed them, then glanced back up at Magnus like he couldn’t help himself.

Izzy saw the look, too, and grinned. She told him something Clary couldn’t catch, and pushed him towards Magnus. Alec went obligingly and Magnus grinned, grabbed his hand, and disappeared into the crowd. Maia and Simon had gone, too.

Izzy smiled at her. Clary smiled back. Izzy bent down to Clary’s ear.

“You look beautiful, by the way. Wanna dance?”

Clary nodded, heat rising to her traitor cheeks. Izzy merely grabbed her hand and hauled her into the crowd.

More people had come in in the short time it had taken Clary to get on the dancefloor, so she actually had to dance almost on top of Izzy to avoid bumping into people. Izzy threw her arms around her shoulders and grinned more crookedly this time.

Clary had the feeling that her heart rate wasn’t exactly normal right now but she didn’t care. It was hard to when she could feel Izzy’s warm body against hers.She had never been a fan of dubstep or anything like that, but Izzy’s hand currently travelling down her body so she was growingly quickly fond of the bass drops.

“Is this okay?,” Izzy said in her ear, her hand settling low on her hip. She pushed herself closer, a leg sliding in between Izzy’s.

“More than okay,” she said, smiling at the slightly dazed look on the other girl’s face. There was a certain kind of power in making a girl like her look at her with that expression.

She ground her hips down in unison with hers, and let her hands travel from the back of Izzy’s neck to her pendant.

“That’s pretty,” she said. She could feel Izzy’s erratic heartbeat.

“Family heirloom,” Izzy explained.

“Oooh, fancy,” Clary said, raising her eyebrows.

Izzy grinned. “I know something prettier, though.”

“Mhm? What?,” Clary asked. Izzy pressed against her and put her mouth to her ear.

“There’s this girl I met a few days ago, right?”

Clary blinked past Izzy’s shoulder, her stomach dropping slightly. Izzy’s hand slid lower on her hip, as if sensing Clary’s mood change.

“It was at this weird, little indie coffee shop and she was behind the counter. I was already out of breath but she made it worse. So beautiful. She had this stunning red hair, and big green eyes. And when she smiled at me I swear I felt my heart stop.”

Clary’s stomach went back to its place. “She sounds amazing,” Clary teased. She felt Izzy grin against her ear and shivered.

“She is. I want to get to know her better and maybe go on dates with her and maybe kiss her.”

“When are you planning to do that?,” Clary asked, throat dry.

“Whenever she wants,” Izzy said, and Clary felt lips against her ear before Izzy was looking at her again, eyes wide and almost nervous-looking.

Clary bit her lip and considered, her body coming to a stop. Izzy stopped dancing, too, and said nothing.

Clary nodded to herself,and decision made, she grabbed Izzy’s hand and pulled her out of the crowd, making a beeline for the washroom. Thankfully there was no one in line; the night was still young.

She opened the door and led Izzy inside, looking around quickly before pulling her into a stall and closing the door with her body.

“I would have liked our first kiss to be somewhere like the coffee shop or Central Park or something, but you look so so good and I’m really gay and weak and I can’t wait unless you wanna wait so please say something if you don’t-”

Izzy cut her off by finally kissing her, mouth firm against hers. Clary kissed her back, feeling slightly dizzy.

“I’ve wanted to kiss you since the moment you looked up at me and smiled in the coffee shop,” Izzy breathed, pulling back slightly before kissing her again. Clary slipped her hands around her hips, fingers gripping tightly.

“Me too,” Clary said, when they came up for another breath, licking her lips. Izzy’s eyes followed the movement.

“That’s my job,” she whispered, tone admonishing, then kissed her again, her tongue tracing her lower lip before biting down on it gently. Clary moaned, and Izzy’s hands travelled down to her ass, grabbing it to bring Clary’s lower body closer to her.

“We should be going back soon,” Clary whined. She had never wanted anything less in her life, but, “We, aka Magnus, Maia and I, are on a mission.”

“Yeah?,” Izzy asked, kissing down her jaw to her neck. Clary tilted her head back and bit her lip.

“Mhm,” she hummed. “Magnus believes Simon likes Raphael and vice-” her breath hitched; Izzy’s teeth were grazing the base of her neck “versa,” she finished.

“Oh yeah,”  Izzy said, not even breaking away from what would probably become a majestic hickey. “Magnus told me. Plus I need to make sure my brother is okay.”

“He’ll be fine,” Clary reassured, pulling her back up to kiss her again, licking into her mouth. Izzy’s hand tightened on her ass.

They broke apart again, breathing hard. Izzy let her forehead rest against hers.

“I like you,” she said. “A lot.”

“Me too,” Clary said, smiling. Izzy smiled back and straightened up.

“I meant it, you know. I really wanna take you out on a date.”

“Then what’s stopping you?,” Clary asked. Izzy’s smile turned sideways.

“You’re right. Mark my words, you’ll have your date soon. Now,” she said, offering her hand. “You wanna go get a drink with me?”

Clary took it and nodded, feeling like she could take on the whole world, like this, hand in hand with Izzy, the mark she’d left on her neck there for everyone to see.

* * *

“Thank God you guys are here,” Maia told them later when they were sitting at the bar, sipping on their drinks and giggling with their bodies pressed against each other for no particular reason. Clary turned to look at her friend. She was sweating slightly, cheekbones shining.

“What’s up?,” Izzy asked. Maia collapsed on the stool beside Clary.

“Magnus’ tongue is too far down Alec’s throat for him to care so I’m literally trying to get Simon to go talk to Raphael all by myself and I’m ready to kill him. Has he always been that stubborn?”

“Yes,” Clary answered simply. She set her cranberry vodka down. “Where is he?”

“Moping at a couch,” Maia snorted. She took a sip of Clary’s drink and grimaced, then got up again. “Please come help me.”

“I’ll go work on Raphael,” Izzy said, draining her glass and getting up. She was stunningly steady on her heels. Clary did the same but more slowly.

“Take me to Simon,” she told Maia. She turned to Izzy. “Meet me halfway?”

Izzy winked and set off into the crowd without another word. Clary followed Maia closely through the sweaty dancers.

“So,” Maia yelled back over her shoulder “have you guys made out yet?”

Clary felt her cheeks get hot although she didn’t know if that was from embarrassment, the heat of the dance floor, or the alcohol. Probably all three. “Yes,” she yelled.

Maia gave her a grin, and then they were out of the tight crowd and on the side of the club with all the VIP couches.

“I didn’t know we had a VIP couch,” Clary said.

“Technically, it’s Magnus’,” Maia explained, looking around till she spotted Simon. “There. He’s still sitting over there,” she said, pointing to the far right.

They walked up to him. He was alone, sipping on an orange vodka. Clary sighed.

“Oh hey,” he said, blinking up at them.He hadn’t sweat off his eyeliner yet so he still sort of looked like a cute goth nerd. Clary sat on his right with Maia on his other side. “What’s up?”

“Simon,” Clary started “are you having fun?”

Simon sighed. “Look, you know I’m not a clubbing kind of guy.”

“Neither am I,” Clary said. Maia snorted. “But I’m having fun. I got to make out with Izzy in a disgusting club bathroom and I’m slightly tipsy. You can have fun, too, Simon.” He didn’t answer.

She sighed again. “Look. Are you attracted to Raphael?”

He suddenly couldn’t meet her eyes. He sipped on his drink. “Yes,” he said, voice near a whisper.

“Okay, then what is the issue?,” Maia asked carefully. Simon set his drink down on the table and looked down at his hands.

“It’s just- this is so new for me,” Simon started, biting his lip for a moment. “I have no experience in like...anything and he’s so...and I’m…,” he made a weird gesture at himself. Clary grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

“You’re my best friend and wonderful, adorable guy. It doesn’t matter if you’re experienced in anything. If you don’t want to kiss him you can just dance with him or even talk to him okay? You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.”

“But I do want to,” Simon said with surprising force. “I just don’t even know how to approach him.”

“Well that’s not an issue,” Maia said, looking out at the dance floor. “I can see Izzy pulling him in this direction right now. Man, that necklace of hers is bright as shit.”

“What?,” Simon yelped. Clary handed him his drink.

“Gulp it down. Make safe decisions and have fun!,” she urged, then patted his knee and got up, Maia following her quickly.

They met Izzy at the edge of the dancefloor. She was holding Raphael’s hand with a big smile on her face. Raphael looked distinctly unimpressed.

“Everything alright?,” Izzy asked. Clary nodded. She pulled Raphael close to her so she could whisper in his ear.

“You hurt him and I kill you,” she promised. He pulled away with raised eyebrows. She clapped him on the shoulder and pushed him towards Simon. They all watched as he walked to him and sat down heavily beside him. Simon looked slightly terrified.

Maia put an arm around her shoulders. “He’s gonna be fine. He’s a smart guy.”

Clary nodded, then turned to the girls with a grin. “Let’s go dance.”

* * *

 

Clary woke up the next morning slowly. She could feel a warm body next to hers, her head was already slightly pounding, and her mouth felt disgusting. There was probably make up smudged around her eyes.

She opened her eyes slowly, squinting into the semi-dark of her room. Someone had thankfully thought of closing the curtains the night before.

Isabelle was sleeping next to her, in a huge Led Zeppelin t-shirt that had been Simon’s before Clary had claimed it. Clary smiled. She looked so peaceful.

She sat up as slowly as she could, trying to recall the night before. After they had successfully gotten Simon and Raphael to sit together, they went dancing. Clary could vaguely remember making out with Maia _and_ Izzy at some point.

Magnus and Alec had gone back to Alec’s apartment. She probably needed to call Magnus soon to check in.

And Simon…

Where was Simon?

She swung her legs off the bed _slowly_ and got up, groaning quietly. She realized, belatedly, that she was wearing nothing but her underwear and bra. She blushed, even though Isabelle was still sleeping, and grabbed a big, dark green t-shirt she wore around the house. She walked out of the room and shut the door quietly.

She checked out Maia’s room first, pushing the door open gently. Maia and the girl she had brought home last night were still sleeping, Maia acting as the big spoon. Clary smiled and closed the door. She should probably have been more concerned about the fact that she didn’t remember Maia bringing the girl home at all.

She padded to the bathroom to clean up. She grimaced once she took a good look in the mirror. Her hair was a tangled mess and her mascara was indeed smudged around her eyes. And...yup; a quite majestic hickey at the base of her neck. She touched it and blushed as memories from the club bathroom came flooding back. She turned away hurriedly from the mirror and took her t-shirt and underwear off to hop in the shower. The hot water would be a blessing right about now.

She emerged soon after and wrapped a towel around her to go get clean underwear, depositing the ones from last night in the hamper. Isabelle was still sleeping so she grabbed her stuff as quietly as possible and went back into the washroom to put her clothes on and brush her teeth. Then she went into the living room. Simon was not there.

Her, Maia’s and Isabelle’s purses were all on the kitchen table. Clary checked her phone, still miraculously on. It was 1 pm. She yawned and went to sneak her charger out of her room.

She plugged it in the outlet by the toaster and set it down just as a knock came on the door. She walked over and looked into the peephole. It was Magnus and Alec.

She opened it, and immediately perked up when she spotted the bags of food both men were carrying. “I love you,” she moaned to Magnus, and went to grab his bags. Magnus snorted and dodged her, pushing past her into the apartment. Alec smiled at her wordlessly and followed.

“Good morning, gingersnaps. How did you sleep?,” Magnus asked, setting the bags on the kitchen counter. Clary tried to sniff surreptitiously but she couldn’t detect any smell coming from the bags.

“Good,” Clary said, walking over to check the bags. “ Did you buy groceries?!”

Magnus pushed her away -uncharacteristically gently- and grabbed the eggs out of the bag Clary was checking out. “I’m making a gigantic omelet to cure everyone’s hangover. Eggs are good for you. Have you drunk anything? Here, apple juice,” he pushed the huge bottle of apple juice Alec had been carrying in one of his bags over to her and then turned to start on his omelet.

Clary blinked at him for a moment, a little dazed and too hungover, and snorted. “Yes, Dad. Is that my crop top?,” she asked, squinting at him. That was definitely one of her crop tops, a comfy, dark blue thing she had bought last year. “I don’t even remember leaving it at your house.”

Magnus snorted. “I’m shocked. Go sit at the couch. Alec, help me out here.”

Clary saluted him and flopped down on said couch. She stared at the apple juice bottle, mentally calculating how much energy she had to get up to go get a glass, when Alec set a glass down in front of her.

“My hero,” she said. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Alec said. “How’s my sister?”

Clary blushed a little. “Still sleeping.”

“Nope,” Izzy said from the hallway. Alec and Clary both glanced over. Izzy was still in the t-shirt Clary had given her, but her makeup had been wiped off. She smiled and dropped down on the couch next to Clary.

“Morning,” Clary said, weirdly nervous. She never liked morning-afters.

But she had nothing to worry about. Izzy grinned and gave her a quick peck on the lips. “Morning.”

Alec cleared his throat. “How did you sleep, _Isabelle_?,” he said, giving her bare legs a pointed look. Clary blushed although they hadn’t done anything more than make out before falling asleep.

Izzy raised an eyebrow. “I slept great. How about you, _Alexander_?,” she asked, giving Magnus a small wave. He waved back distractedly. That omelette apparently required his totally undivided attention, if his laser-like focus on beating the eggs was any indication.

It was Alec’s turn to blush which, frankly, Clary found adorable. "Fine,” he said stiffly, then got up, kissed Izzy on the forehead, and went to help Magnus.

Alec Lightwood was full of contradictions.

“How did you sleep?,” Izzy asked softly after a moment, turning to face her.

“Great,” Clary said truthfully, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Izzy smiled.

“I’m glad. Thanks for the t-shirt.”

“You’re welcome,” Clary said, smiling. She turned to look at Magnus as he and Alec sat down on the armchair, Magnus in Alec’s lap.

Izzy grinned at them. “Woah there, boys.”

They stuck out their tongues in unison, then blinked at each other in disbelief. Izzy giggled adorably. Clary laughed.

“Hey, where did Jace go after the club?,” Izzy asked.

“Home with some guy,” Alec explained, his hand caressing Magnus’ thigh. “What about your friend, Simon?”

“I don’t know, actually,” Clary said. “I should call him.” She got up and walked to the kitchen to get her phone. The omelette was starting to smell. Clary’s stomach growled.

She unplugged her phone and walked back to the couch, sitting down with her legs folded under her. “Your omelette smells amazing,” she told Magnus while dialing Simon’s number.

“Thanks, biscuit,” Magnus told her, sending her a kiss. Simon picked the phone up after the fifth ring.

“Hello?” His voice sounded hoarse. He had probably just woken up.

“Morning, sunshine,” she said. A faint groan sounded in the background.

“Was that Rapahel?,” she asked, starting to smile. “Simon, you naughty boy.”

“Uhm,” Simon said intelligently. “I’ll be home soon.” He hung up before Clary could say anything. She snorted.

“Where is he?,” Magnus asked.

Clary grinned. “I don’t know but Raphael is there.”

“We did it, folks,” Magnus said, getting up to check on the omelette and high-fiving her and Izzy along the way. “Simon got laid AND with a guy.”

Izzy cheered. Clary grinned again and even Alec looked amused.

“Good morning; what are we celebrating?,” Maia said. She was standing by the end of the hallway, looking like Clary’s head felt. The girl she had brought with her slipped past her with a little wave around the room and walked out the door, closing it behind her.

“Simon got laid,” Clary explained. Maia sat down beside her on the couch. They high-fived.

“Same,” she said. “Her name was Ashlee.”

Clary snorted. “I’m surprised you even got her name this time.”

“Hey that was _one_ time. I always know their names; it’s one of the requirements. Name, age over 18, there’s sexual attraction between us, consent from all parties, and at least one of us is equipped with some form of protection.”

“True wisdom,” Clary teased. Maia snorted and elbowed her weakly, then put her head on her shoulder.

“You look way too awake. Why?,” she asked Alec suspiciously.

“Oh uh, I was the DD,” he explained. There was noise from the kitchen. Clary glanced over. Magnus was standing over the table, looking proud of himself.

“Food’s ready,” he announced. “Pounce, you animals.”

“My hero,” Maia said, getting up surprisingly quickly, walking over and grabbing a plate and cutlery to cut into a, quite frankly, delicious-looking omelette. They all followed. There was quiet for a moment while everyone sat back down in their spots, cut and bit into it, and then;

“Is there anything you can’t do?,” Alec moaned, eyes closed.

Magnus was looking at Alec with an expression so tender, she suddenly felt like she was intruding in her own kitchen. He shook himself slightly as if forcing himself out of some thought.“No,” he said. Maia snorted.

“God this is amazing. If Simon doesn’t get here fast I don’t think there’s gonna be any left for him,” she said.

There was a knock on the door, the beat Simon always did. Magnus groaned teasingly. “You summoned him. I can’t believe you.”

Clary shushed him. “It’s open,” she called out, then winced at the volume of her own voice. The door opened, Simon stepping through it almost shyly. He closed it behind him and took his shoes off by the door slowly as if trying to stall the inevitable.

“No Raphael, huh? Where’s the vampire?,” Magnus asked. Simon squeezed himself in beside Izzy, forcing Maia to practically sit in Clary’s lap so they could all fit.

“At his own house,” Simon said. “Can someone get me some of that?”

“No,” Magnus said. Clary rolled her eyes and got up to get him some food.

“Love you,” Simon called after her. “Hate you,” he grumbled, presumably to Magnus. Magnus snorted just as she walked back into the living room, handing Simon his plate before sitting back down on the couch. Izzy threw her legs on the space on Clary’s lap that Maia wasn’t occupying.

“So,” Maia said through a bite of omelette. “We want details.”

Simon’s cheeks went vaguely pink.

“Did you suck his dick? Did he suck your dick?,” Magnus asked. Alec choked on his omelette.

“Magnus!,” Maia said. She threw one of the couch pillows at him. He dodged.

“What?,” he said. “I’m just asking the important questions here.”

“Well?,” Izzy asked, smiling. “You didn’t answer.”

“Uh,” was all Simon said. Clary gasped.

“Oh my God, you did!,” she squeaked. “Wait, did _he_?”

“Uh,” Simon repeated. Izzy snorted.

“Oh my God, you both did,” she said. Maia laughed out loud in disbelief, then stretched to high five him. Simon met her hand hesitantly.

“I think I’m bisexual,” Simon blurted out finally. Magnus smirked.

“Welcome to the club, kid. We have glitter and hot people.”

“Hear, hear,” Maia cheered.

“What are you, then?,” Simon asked Izzy. “It’s just- I made a comment about lesbians yesterday and Magnus got angry at me thinking I assumed your sexuality so uh-”

“It’s alright, I don’t mind the question,” Izzy said, setting her plate and fork down on the table. “I’m pan.”

“And I’m gay, in case anyone had their doubts,” Alec said. Magnus snorted and kissed him on the forehead.

“Honey nobody was doubting _that_ ,” Magnus said. Izzy laughed.

“I’m seeing him again tomorrow,” Simon said, gaze kind of distant. Clary doubted he had even heard their interaction.

“Good,” Magnus said distractedly, getting up from Alec’s lap and grabbing their plates. “You can have condoms and stuff from my nightstand drawer. I know you don’t have any.” He ignored Simon’s indignant noise and walked to the kitchen. “Now who wants more food?”

There was a chorus of “yes” and “please” around the room. Clary wrapped her hand around Izzy’s ankle and grinned.

This was her life.


End file.
